From One Disaster Child To Another
Most days I feel like a complete disaster child—a redeemed disaster child, but a disaster child nonetheless. It seems I have a natural gifting when it comes to making mistakes, unintentionally hurting people and sticking my foot in my mouth. My tone, my attitude, my countenance all reveal just how far I have to go.
The idea that Christ wants me to represent him is pretty scary. He is perfect. I am not. I honestly thought that becoming a follower of Jesus would take away my disasterness (yes, I know that’s not a word), and help me kick the sin habit, removing my flaws, faults and weakness. But really becoming a follower of Jesus has made things worse, because now I recognize those things even more. Staring into the eyes of a perfect God has a way of magnifying every imperfection.
But staring into those eyes also reveals something else: love beyond measure, hope beyond limit, and peace beyond explanation. Yes, I am still a disaster child, but I am his. And I am grateful.
So what is the cure of my disasterness? Jesus. Becoming more like him. I’m not perfect and I won’t be this side of heaven. But I’ve encountered a God who promises that the battle ends in victory- life instead of death. So call me crazy, but I’m holding on to that promise.
As a fellow journeyer I could use your help. The next time you see my disasterness getting the best of me, pull me aside and gently let me know. Remind me that I am his. That may seem like a small thing, but there’s no telling what transformation might result. And if you’re interested, I’ll gently do the same for you. Because we’re all in this thing together. We need each other. And maybe, just maybe we can live out the change within as God intended.
I’d love to hear your thoughts here, or you can visit www.margaretfeinberg.com or www.margaretfeinberg.blogspot.com or just tag me on Facebook.
That is good stuff. Maybe this is universal or maybe it is unique to my life but I have become passionate about issues of identity and community. You mention and begin talking through this idea of identity and being God’s child. Personally, it is only with a conscience awareness of that fact that my life has any hope, joy, or is even worth living. My problem, however, is I am not sure I really get the significance of that relationship and I am not sure how to make myself understand my “sonship” more fully.
Also I like and admire your use of community in a way of aiding your growth. One of communities greatest values is in its ability to stretch, grow, and correct us. But as a twenty-something, I get concerned that facebook, tv, the internet, age specific ministries, allow a false sense of community that never requires the commitment and chaffing we need to be stretched, grown, and corrected.
I don’t think the reality that you’re talking about of sonship is something we get in a single moment but rather over the course of a lifetime something we discover, uncover and awaken to…then, we get to celebrate and enjoy for eternity. Though the dancing certainly begins today.